Let me have this one small thing

by second year Ava Gruszczinski

I have always found myself gravitating toward the softer things in life. Maybe it’s the feel of minky fabric or the squishy feeling of the stuffing inside that makes me so partial to stuffed animals, but over all the physicality, I think it’s a feeling of safety. I know that it’s a childish interest and maybe I’m way too old to still care about stuffed animals, but they are so much more to me. Even now, I still have the first stuffed animal ever given to me: Lambie, a rough and tumbled Build-A-Bear my grandpa had made before I was born. She kind of stinks and her once fluffy fabric has been made flat, and she’s not entirely all-white anymore, but I don’t mind. I can’t even begin to describe how much she’s carried me through all these years; a safe escape from fighting parents or a new house, dark corridors and shadows in my closet.

I wonder if all those toys at Goodwill have a story like Lambie’s. Each one of them encapsulates the person who loved and cared for them. It makes me wonder how they ended up there. I wish I could talk to them. I wish I could give them the same love and care I give to Lambie, but they aren’t mine to love. Most of them have tears or stains or imperfections that make them undesirable to most buyers, but those are the things I love most about mine. My mom got me a stuffed animal of my cat, Ellie, after she passed away. It’s just a shitty Webkinz, and her whiskers are misaligned, but it meant and still means so much to me.

Really, what I’m trying to say is I find human affection amazing. I love that people get attached to simple little creations. I love that we all make up stories and attach sentiments to things we find neat. Maybe for you it’s a special baseball cap or a hair tie you’ve had for years. Whatever it is, we all have something we feel inherently connected to. We can forget our humanity sometimes, and it’s easy to get lost in the dreariness of corporate or academic life, so remember what makes you human.

Let Me Have This One Small Thing

Let me have this one small thing