So This is Love

By second year Mai Lei Long

Caregivers are one of the few examples of true love. They sacrifice time, energy, and money to raise children who can’t give anything tangible back. Children don’t have jobs to help pay bills. They can’t cook for themselves or do laundry, and when they grow old enough to begin doing these things, they have to be taught by someone.

Caregivers must supply kids with everything. Kids are entirely dependent on the adults around them, and despite receiving little in return, caregivers love children anyway.

Personally, I don’t offer my parents much; I don’t have a job to help pay bills or college expenses. I’m not at home to do household chores, and on the rare occasion that I am, I don’t do much anyway because I’m exhausted from school or because I’m trying to catch up with hometown friends.

My parents buy food, buy clothes, cook, clean the house, work, budget, and so much more, and what do I offer them? Nothing tangible, yet my parents are always so happy to see me, to talk to me, to simply know me.

Because of this, I struggle with guilt. Guilt from being a “freeloader” or a “burden” on my parents. Even if they don’t see my relationship with them this way—I do sometimes. I see every injustice in our relationship. I could always do more chores, run more errands, but even then, nothing would come close to what they’ve given me.

So, my guilt has become gratitude. My parents continue to provide their unwavering love, support, resources—and I receive it by simply existing. I don’t fully understand my parents’ sacrificial, generous love for me; I don’t think anyone truly understands this type of love until they have kids themselves. And even though I don’t have the capability to tell my parents exactly how much I love and appreciate them, I can still try.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I love you. A lot.

Mai Lei Long