SENIOR ISSUE: senior thesis

By Zoey Stephens

senior thesis

by fourth year Zoey Stephens

i came to school at the end of the world

and didn’t that make all the difference?

choking on late summer air, a promise that’s waited for me there

four years on and it’s still the same but so much has changed

the world hasn’t ended yet and I’m still here

though I’ve changed and i’ve learned and i’ve grown

here i am,

reminiscing on that infinite span of time between nineteen and twenty 

and all the things that happened and what it means to me. 

eighteen to twenty two, what have i learned from all i’ve been through?

that time is suspended in my mind in some infinite stasis 

of all the people i’ve met 

all the hands i’ve held and the words i’ve exchanged

sitting cross-legged on the floor, keeping an eye out for the door

knowing that what lies behind it will mean saying goodbye and goodnight

it’s car rides from strangers on islands in the sea, learning what it means to have a body 

facing my mortality, finding out that life is sweet and lovely and worth living

seeing people on the street like ants marching, hunting for a crumb of belonging

sitting with friends and hoping i’ll live long enough to see

them become old women and old men who climb magnolia trees 

all the late night walks watching drunk boys and girls

holding hands and being in love or close to it

and knowing i am capable of loving all the same

and here i am at the end of the world again

leaving the people i’ve met and wondering why it took so long to find

myself, in love with the space i’ve created 

but i’ve learned that space will remain for me here

like the thick august air that comes back each year