third year baily reese

There comes a time, or rather, time(s) when there’s a fuzzy feeling that starts in your stomach and swells into your chest. It’s not nerves. It might be gas? It’s probably a case of past and future nostalgia. It places you outside of yourself, brings you around 360° and forces the hell out of you to recognize the moment for what it is. You can’t choose the moments or minutes; you just have to let go. I’m talking about the moments when you realize you need to take a mental snapshot and hold onto what you're feeling because you don’t know when it’ll come to visit again. Whether you ache for just some type of similar feeling in the future OR pass through the mental pictures like a scrapbook and thumb every page in the past. It’s normal, it’s okay— it’s inevitable.

Time rolls to a stop, and I look around at my surroundings. It’s about 6pm, the sun is setting and I’m enamored of the watercolor blends within the horizon. Slow motion head banging, car windows down, and my best friends are screaming some existentialist lyrics to another indie song. I sit in silence and I take it all in— almost floating a little outside of my skin. I’m buzzing, anticipating the end, but I’m always a fan of the bittersweet. The windows roll up as droplets of rain begin to cascade. The glass blurs and it all becomes hazy and sure. I’m here and I’m loved and I want it to stay like this forever.

The week before, she was similarly swept into a dreamlike state from the bold coffee and conversations in confidence. Next week it might be the newly released album that would require all roommates to dance through its entirety. The small joys in life, romanticize every single bit, make it all worth it. As the queen of witty lyrics said herself, “I get this feeling/ Whenever I feel good/ It’ll be the last time.” Phoebe Bridgers you’ve done it again, I See You and all of your wistful nostalgia. We ache too.

To recognize these beloved moments as we experience them is one of the most human things we can possibly allow ourselves to feel. When you’re next in one of those moments where you look around at your friends and start to sing Ribs by Lorde, or drive around windows down in the car blasting David Bowie– remember to soak it in and know that you’ll feel this again. Just expect the swells to build in your chest and be kind to yourself because you’re living nostalgia.

When You’re in Love with Fleeting Moments